Well, I'm happy to say we survived our first full year. First full year of going from one to four children, first full year in the rugged mountains in our new home, first full year filled with surprise diagnosis, and on and on.
I've sat down to write in this blog many times, but I find the longer I do this - be a foster and adoptive mom, the less I feel like I have to say. Many of you who are reading this have known this truth for years. Apparently, I needed to learn this.
Have you suffered heartbreak lately? I have. The details, I have to save for another time. But there is a type of heartbreak as a mother that changes you inside, forever. Whether that change is good or bad, only you can determine. I've vacillated between both, honestly.
There is a fine line between bitterness and brokenness.
If this is depressing you and you don't find it as comforting as an old friend and a warm blanket, then I assure you - you haven't faced it yet.
Jesus said, in Matthew 5, you are blessed when you are poor in spirit: for YOU will inherit heaven. He said you're blessed when you are humble (meek) and don't have to know all of the answers (my paraphrase): YOU will inherit the earth. You're blessed when you cry and ache in pain with loss: because YOU will receive comfort from Jesus. He said you're blessed when you show mercy: He will show YOU mercy.
Father, let us not be afraid of the crushing that comes with love. For Your love for us compelled You to give Your own life. We praise You that Your power dwells in that type of holy love. We praise You that Your perfect love overcomes and drives out all fear. We acknowledge that we, as parents, and our foster and adoptive children are loved by You in this perfect way and that nothing can separate us from the shelter that is Your love. We pray that You would set up a hedge of protection around us and our children - our families, and that You would cancel all assignments against us from the enemy of our souls. I pray these children would grow up to become more in YOU than we could EVER think or imagine- that we would be joyfully surprised at what You can do with our lives and there's. In Jesus' Mighty Name! Amen
