"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

The words of Galations 6:9 haunted me today.  Our foster son (a toddler) has been with us almost six months now.  The meth is finally out of his system, for the most part.  He now lets us rock him at night and sometimes give me big hugs.  He's now in preschool and is involved in four agencies that help him develop normally, and to learn to cope with every day life.  He's learning to chew his food instead of swallowing it whole or choking on it.  Oh, and the long list of medical symptoms are almost completely compiled into solid diagnoses.  He has a nebulizer.  Medications. Over 40 appointments in three months. Done. Ship shape.

Now... time to be returned.

Sound familiar?  Are you kidding me?!  To be honest, on some days it feels like someone recklessly tore down a home, then lit it on fire.  The ashes and debris blew into the gutters and the house was unreckognizable.  Then, God knocked at my heart and told me to rebuild the house; only this time with solid, lasting materials, ornate decor, and pristine landscaping.  He commanded me to love this house back into existance, with every last beautiful, detail.  Then, I get a knock on the door.  I'm commanded by the court of law, which of course God commands us to obey, to hand the keys and the deed back to the destructive criminal...

Fair? No!  Even as I write this, I can feel the turmoil in my heart welling up.  Nothing in foster care is fair.  Take a solemn pause after this statement.  NOTHING in foster care is fair.  We all know that too well.

I wonder if pouring your 'everything' into a child, only to watch them go back to a biological family that has not demonstrated a heart-change, is anything close to what Jesus felt in the garden of Gethsemane.  In John 17:6-19, Jesus was praying in the garden.  He knew he was about to be murdered and to pay the highest cost for crimes he didn't commit, illnesses he didn't cause, and for bondages when he did not ensnare.  But, what was beautiful about our Lord is that he didn't just pray for himself during this hour of pain and incredible sacrifice.  He prayed for his twelve disciples, and ultimately all believers.  His disciples - the men he so lovingly poured into day and night during the three years he was in ministry. What did he pray? In large part, he prayed for their protection.  He prayed that they would be sanctified by the truth.  He knew well that the enemy hated them.  He knew the enemy would speak vicious lies to them, trying to change their identity and to lose everything he had taught to them.  He knew they would be tempted to doubt goodness, light, love and truth.  Ultimately, he also knew the world would look down on them and persecute them.  He was handing the twelve back to the same world that hated Jesus; leaving them on earth with the same humans that were about to murder him.

..."FOR THEY ARE YOURS" John 17:9b

Jesus knew he could let go of those he dearly loved and leave them to a violent, hateful world.  How could he know that (besides being God)?  What a strange thing to believe in, as he was about to be murdered.  Jesus knew he could let go, because he recognized that his disciples belonged to the Father. Our heavenly Daddy.  The Creator.  Pure Love.

This is one of the many ways that Jesus describes the Father to us, in his Word:
   
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31


THE FATHER ALWAYS KNOWS.  HE ALWAYS LOVES.  HE IS ALWAYS GOOD.
The love of the Father brought my foster son to me.  The Father's incredible love and goodness is what brought about the joining of you and your foster children.  The love of the Father also sent his own son - released his son, Jesus, to die on the cross in order to pay for our own children's injustices. The love of the Father gave me strength to tend to my foster son as he vomited daily and had diarrhea multiple times a day, for weeks, because of drugs that his mother allowed into his system.  This same love.  This same mercy.  I have to believe.  We NEED to believe.  Will follow our children all the days of their lives.

GALATIONS 6:9 "LET US NOT BECOME WEARY IN DOING GOOD, FOR AT THE PROPER TIME WE WILL REAP A HARVEST IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP".

Don't give up.  Our Father loves you.  He loves our children.  Take a deep breath and release it to God.  Envision handing your child(ren) into the arms of the Father as he embraces them and overwhelms them with his love.  Be still, and know that HE IS GOD.

Prayer:
Father, we acknowledge our dependence on you in every way.  We confess that we have hearts filled with anger and resentment, at times, towards the originators of our foster children's deep wounds.  We have anger and resentment toward the 'system'.  Thank you that you are not a stranger to horrible injustices.  Your Word says you were a man of sorrows and you are acquainted with EVERY GRIEF.  Thank you that you love our children with a pure and fierce love; a love that covers a multitude of sins.  We humbly ask that you would protect our children.  Please make their paths leading to You, to safety & health,  straight.  Make streams and gardens to grow in their desert places.  Bless them with love and laughter.  We ask for no more abuse, neglect or trauma to be in their lives.  We pray that Your beautiful will be done in their lives.
In Jesus' mighty name.

~E.S.
Foster Parent
California